Wow, I was exhausted last night and only just got up. I think t was a combination if the alcohol and mirtazapine, that just made me want to sleep and sleep.
I had a great time last night though. We saw Athlete who played at a free music festival in the square. They were really good, and we went out for a few drinks afterwards and I really enjoyed it. It was nice to do something like that with N, it felt like we are properly going out now. I still feel unsure about it, but I am starting to become more comfortable, and open myself up a bit. It will take time to let down the walls. I know that I have them, but they are there for a reason. I don't want to be hurt again so soon, and I need them to protect me for awhile. She still seems ok with that at the moment. I hope it will continue and she won't pressure me, because i can't tell her I love her if I don't. And telling someone you don't love them, is never what they want to hear.
Normally my relationships are quick and passionate, and this one isn't like that. That could be a good thing, and I don't want to rush it or try to force anything. I just want it to be natural. So I won't lie about my feelings to make her feel better, or pretend things I don't really want. I'll just be myself. We'll see if that's ok I guess.
Going to see Indiana Jones with my Dad and brother today. Really looking forward to it :)
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