I feel exactly the same.
Some days I wonder what the point is at all in trying to get better.
Much as the effects of recent events ought to have changed my outlook on life, they really haven't. I'm back to where I was, in the same job, believing the same things, feeling powerless, feeling monotonous, feeling faint.
I'm going to fade away to nothing, and disappear, and the world will not notice. Because that's what the world usually does, not notice and keep going. Nothing will stop the turning, the same old paradigms, the business of day to life, the junk on TV, the passivity and honed up aggression. I don't know how to be free, and if I did, I wouldn't know what to do with the freedom.
I rant, I rave, nothing changes. Most of all, I stay the same, and I hate that.
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