I'm feeling a little too emotional tonight. I almost cried for the first time in a long while. A girl I'd been getting to know online and arranged a date with on Saturday told me she had started seeing someone else and it made me really sad. She was sweet about things, and we are going to be friends and see how it goes with this guy, but I felt really disappointed. I haven't even met her yet, I just had good feelings.
I felt happy two of my friends have had babies today, and that was quite exciting. But then it made me broody, and coupled with the rejection today, getting turned down for a date earlier in the week, and having my party attended by only 3 or 4 people who weren't family, on top of S not talking to me, I'm feeling pretty low. Then add on top of that, work stress, and a £1200 mobile bill I ran up accidentally last month. Talking to the managers about that wasn't fun.
To be honest I'm doing ok at not letting it get to me. I had therapy today and I didn't even think to talk about all the disappointments I've had in the last week. We brought up interesting stuff about my communication, and the way I talk. I felt like I got to the bottom of a new part of myself, and I know that's something I don't feel very often.
On the other hand, my music does seem to be going well, and I am writing songs and riffs a lot, although not usually finishing them. A song I wrote earlier last week I really like, and it needs some work, but I think I can get a recording finished fairly soon. Today I was playing around with hammond sounds, and I wrote another song. It was fun :)
I feel like I am in a bit of a rut, and I think I've been neglecting my social life the last few weeks, so I'm going to try to be a bit more sociable and do some things this weekend. Life is for living, and I need to start enjoying myself a bit more instead of moping around the house. I hope I manage to give myself the boost I need. I need some sort of boost to self esteem, so hopefully something will give me that kick I need in the next few days.
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