I started to feel better about what happened yesterday in the evening, and went to see my Dad for his birthday, and recorded some things for a song I've been working on. N kept saying she missed me and was lonely which made me feel like she still wants to be with me. I missed her so much too.
This morning she said she was going out for a coffee with a friend though. And that she parked on the top of a certain car park.
And then pieces come together and I start worrying again. She's just managed to associate her going out with a coffee with a friend with my suicide attempt in the same text message without even realising what she's done. And so I immediately see the whole thing negatively, since she associated 'friend' 'coffee' and 'car park' in two adjoining sentences. Even knowing I'm seeing this in an overly negative way doesn't help here. So I ask if it's a male friend. And pretend not to be scared.
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