Diminished By Internal Weakness

Well, I've been in Boston for a couple of enjoyable days, and am currently waiting for a flight to Newark, New Jersey where my friend E is going to meet me at the airport. It's an hour late or so, but I think I just saw the plane taxiing in.

I've come to realise the last few days that I still very much love N, and I keep trying to replace her, but it's not working and no one will be her. I wish to god (whom I don't believe in) that things had been different. Her blog says 'I am not into him' in one of her recent entries. It reminds me of something N's friend (the other N) said a few days ago. We 'don't like men who are diminished by internal or external weakness'. She meant she wanted marines, but in this case, I am definitely 'diminished by internal weakness'. It's a big killer for attraction I think. She might be a complete bitch, but she's right none the less.

I could give her what she needs and wants if she let me. Still, I am 3000 miles away. I'll see what happens in a few months. Maybe I'll stop loving her. God, I hope so. There goes my call for the flight. Time to head off somewhere new and exciting. What will the next few days hold? Things never cease to be interesting...