Selfish Bitch

Another eventful day. I started flirting too much with N this morning who made it clear she wasn't interested. I took the hint and left her alone, trying to concentrate on work. I was having a pretty productive day, and felt pretty glad about it.

Later B called me to talk about me seeing the kids later in the week, so we arranged for Thursday afternoon. Then he told me what N had said about the kids meeting her new guy.

Now, myself and N had had a conversation about this last night, where I told her that she should be very careful because of how upset T had been this week about the divorce, and he wasn't even sleeping by himself anymore. He's been behaving really badly and asking why Daddy doesn't love Mummy anymore to B. She assured me she was being careful, that I didn't need to warn her, and that he'd not be meeting G until after Christmas.

Later today, independently, N decides it is the perfect time to introduce G into the mix. T wouldn't sleep tonight apparently, and has had to sleep in her bed. Strangely, G somehow manages to meet T before he goes to bed, despite the idea being that he comes round after the kids are in bed. Weird how that turned out. What a co-incidence. B told me on the phone that she had sounded like they might meet 'accidentally' and she hadn't been concerned about it.

She had me livid when I heard all this. I sent her a text (which as usual she ignored). I posted facebook message about how selfish I thought she was being. At this point I was so angry with her, I thought about calling social services. I remembered all the times she left the house without giving the kids breakfast, didn't wash clothes, and was late over and over again for everything. All the times I had to convince her to get up while I was doing their breakfast. All the times she sits on the computer and ignores the kids and anything else that needs doing. She can be a good mother, and loving, but at the moment all she can think about is herself. She's so full of herself, so absorbed in her own problems that she can't see anyone elses. B told me how the kids missed their vacinations and she didn't return the health visitors calls, and how T has been missing sessions at school. Eventually B had to take them to get the vacinations because she didn't sort it out.

I am just so sick of her excuses. When she came online later, she read the stuff on facebook and freaked. Then she got mad and accused me of lots of things. I didn't rise to the bait and when accused me of doing it because I was jealous, and all this sort of thing. She tried everything she could to twist things around to me, including threatening self harm. She's never done that before to me, but I know she has threatened to hurt herself to B before. It didn't work, I said I wasn't taking responsibility for her hurting herself. And she started being nice to me, and trying to say how hard she was finding it. Nothing made me more sympathetic, so she gave up.

That is the first time I haven't given into her, and haven't felt guilty about it afterwards. She's just gone way too far for me to sympathise anymore. Everything is her first, everyone else second.

She needs to grow up, and quickly. I hope one day she'll get over the self pity, and start seeing that she is a mother of two children and needs to act like an adult.