N just apologised to me for being mean last night. It doesn't make a lot of difference though. I realised that I love her still, but I really don't like her right now.
I think she is immoral and unethical, and keeps justifying her own selfishness with excuses. I don't have time for people like that in my life.
Like an American friend told me last week, it isn't worth it, there are plenty of nice people around, and there is no reason to put up with the horrible ones in your life. I will make new friends, and keep my real friends, and stop trying to panda to the wishes of people who don't care about me and my feelings.
She can grow up, and maybe one day I'll like her again. She needs to stop thinking she is right about everything though and start seeing somebody else's viewpoint for a change. She has endless excuses, endless pity speeches and endless platitudes to give out, and I'm getting sick of it. Time to forget about her and move on. So long N, and thanks for all the fish.
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